“I am creating a life worth living”– Marsha Linehan
Can you believe its been over a month since I have blogged? Well it has been and my mini vacation has been what the doctor ordered and more. I have done alot of thinking, self-reflecting, spending quality time with my very small circle of peeps and attempting to restore the two relationships that mean the absolute world to me- the one with myself and the one with “Mr. Big”.
One of the biggest realizations came when I really thought about the blog and my social media. While I love it, it has become an addiction for me. I stopped connecting with others in the “real world” in order to snap pics at every event, catalog every little moment in life, constantly tweet about any random thing that popped in my head etc… While there is nothing truly wrong with it, I find that for me, its not healthy. I am choosing to dial back heavily from living my life on social media and well, spending my time on social media.
I always prided myself on being transparent but really I was a very calculated transparent. I would say I was a tinted transparent. I released info about myself that would make me appear to be one way and yet it felt totally opposite. It was a constant PR campaign to deflect. Please do not see my flaws and faults so I am going to do all I can to show you the “good”. I am far from the independent, super strong, got her “S” together girl. I really am a damaged work in progress but for once in my life I have the faith I will become who I long to be.
I lived my life just how I dress. Because my thighs are fuller than other parts of my body, I would try to keep your attention away from them by wearing fuller skirts. I have broader shoulders so I wear V-necks far more often than boat neck or crew neck tops. I knew I was insecure and often up to “no good” so I would project onto others. Please look at their flaws….. don’t pay attention to me type personality.
Speaking of not looking at me…. how can you not with this amazing 3-D flower skirt from ChicWish? I am not tooting my own horn by any means with this but I certainly am tooting theirs. I adore this skirt and its a nice heavy material that it will wear well in the fall and winter with opaque tights. Many thanks to Lacey for the photography! Be sure to book her as soon as possible, its really worth it!
|V-Neck: Target | Skirt: Chic Wish | Bag: Ann Taylor (similar) | Shoes: Shoe Dazzle | Hair: Johann’s Virgin Hair (use code: Coco) |
Welcome back to blogging! Lovin’ the skirt…so effin’ much. You look great!
I never really noticed you ‘deflecting’ from your body flaws. I just thought you had a knack for picking the right fit for your body. We all have our insecurities. Mine are my ankles and arms *shudder*. But it came to a point when I had to be like, screw it. That took me a long ass time, tho. My arms – I’m getting used to them. My ankles? Not so much. A little reason why I’m feening for Fall so much is because I can start wearing tights again – to hide my ankles. I know, I know. So wrong. But it’s the truth.
Totally understand about social media. My love for Twitter will always be there but I knew that I was getting addicted to that medium. To the point that every morning I woke up, my hand would reach for my phone and tap the Twitter app. Sadness personified. lolol. So early last month I decided to take a break from tweeting. Do I miss it? Sure. But I knew in order for me to get back to what I love – mainly reading – something had to give. And Twitter was the best choice. I’m sure I’ll be back once Fall TV season starts and, of course, NBA. But that break was so needed. Thankfully, I’m not addicted to the other social media platforms like I am/was with Twitter.
aww Vivi! So happy to hear from you and thank you so much for writing something so real. Girl your ankles are fine but I totally understand. For me its my calves right now. I love them until I have to wear a midi length skirt and then I hate them. But I loove those skirts!
I have heavily restricted myself from social media. Im finding its a lot easier as the days go by!
Jennifer-
This is a wonderful post! It’s so easy to get caught up in social media and it’s complicated when you’re blogging because there’s pressure to keep up with the Joneses (or other bloggers). I’ve mentioned being in and enjoying the moment in some of my “currently” posts. The moments are always so fleeting. In any event, its great to see you back. You look well! Welcome back to blogging:-).
thank you Sheila! And thank you for reading. I definitely have been thinking alot more adn being shown alot more and well Im doing way too much lol