Journey of Healing

Where do I even begin? Yesterday was the anniversary of one of the worst times in my life. Well, periods. It was a season of turmoil marked by a tremendously difficult break up. All my loyal supporters and readers know what I am talking about because it was THAT bad. It shaped how I dressed, what I posted on social media, basically it took over my existence. I was in fact a mess.  But this post is not about that. Because frankly, my life is way too amazing right now to dwell on that snippet of time in my history.

I was having a conversation with a very special person and it prompted me to reminisce about what I was then, who I am now, and who I am progressively working on being in the future. We often hear about strength and people getting past bad situations but let me tell you, you really do not understand your capabilities to survive until you weather an incredibly destructive storm and come out alive. I did that. As many of you have or will in your life. I am ridiculously proud of myself! I am always very humble but this is not something that I can just whisper to myself, I feel as though it must be shouted from the rooftops! I have kicked or am kicking so many bad habits butt that I feel like a fricken Olympian judo athlete! ( Oh by the way, shout out to the beautiful and fierce Ronda Rousey on actually kicking major butt this weekend in the UFC fight!)

The point of this blog post is all about motivation and perseverance. I mean, real talk, 365 years ago, I was suffering from major depression, on medication, had battled suicidal thoughts, had to move out of what I considered “home”, ended a relationship, lost my “child”, was being written up left and right at work, hospitalized, lost over 20lbs, drinking heavily, lost several friends, alienated other friends, been verbally and even physically abused by myself and others and caused my mother serious stress because I could not cope in a healthy way with all that life was throwing at me based on my choices. But man oh man…. today, I wake up smiling at least 90% of the time and its not a superficial one. This smile comes from deep within me because I truly feel good. I have learned to be comfortable in my skin and to be honest about who I am and who I will be. I am no longer on medication. I have awesome and real relationships with those in my life, my friends are outstanding, my parents and I are in a great place, my boss has personally told me that I have done almost a 180 and my work is of higher caliber, my love life is really promising and this blog is kicking butt and taking names… I mean hello Fashion Bomb Daily feature (lol) *shameless plug*

Being that I went through some serious mental breakdowns and was able to overcome them, mental health awareness is very close to my heart. Next to the homeless, it is my philanthropy of choice. It is never, ever something to be ashamed of and its something that should never be kept secret. When I was going through my toughest battles, I openly discussed it on this blog. Because of it, my story was able to help a very loyal reader get the help she needed to get. I would never discuss her story as it is HER story to share but I am living proof that hard work, believing in yourself AND finding a true and genuine support system can get you through anything. Last year at this time, my friend Lacey and her husband James were my rocks. I still have no words for the way they opened their hearts, time and door to me when I needed it most. So this post is dedicated to them as well as the millions of people suffering every single day with feelings of shame, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness. I promise you, you can get past it and you will begin to genuinely smile again. Just please never give up and trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may take longer than your patience may allow but keep digging as deep as you can because when you come out of the negative and those feelings of gloom, you will see the utter beauty of the world and life!

Thank you all for reading!