Pretty Pretty Shaggy Pixie

It took a long time for me to gain the courage and confidence to do what I did yesterday. I have wanted it for so long but yet I rarely just do what I want. It may seem as if I am a free spirit but there is an internal struggle in my head about “will people like this? will I get made fun of? will I still be loved?”. I am was the type to ask everyone’s opinion before I did ANYTHING and then seek their endless approval after the fact. But yesterday I did something solely for me and without anyone’s opinion or thoughts clouding it and I can without a doubt exclaim, I have never felt more free and more happy! I, Jennifer Jean-Pierre am becoming the woman I was destined to be and I am enjoying every single part of this journey.

Hair is just hair but to women, the longer the hair, the more beautiful you are considered. We all want that free flowing, waist length hair because society, our families and culture dictates that a woman’s essence and beauty stems from her hair and looks. For the longest time I craved attention from the opposite sex. Man, I NEEDED that attention. That attention filled so many voids in my life and I was constantly trying to get my cup full. If it was even getting to a 1/3 empty I was quickly thinking of what else I could do to be externally validated. Well yesterday I threw out my middle finger to all those notions and did what I have always been itching to…. I chopped off my hair into a shaggy pixie and found my confidence.

My mother is my best friend and my second favorite role model next to my grandmother, Vivie. We may fuss, argue and not see eye to eye on my life and style choices but in the end I am a mama’s girl. I tried to assert my independence at a pretty young age. Well let me backtrack, I still wanted to be sheltered and spoiled but I wanted to rebel on the things that I wanted to do that were not allowed. I was not a tough kid to deal with but I definitely tip toed the line on channeling my inner James Dean rebel more times than my mom would probably have enjoyed. I impulsively cut my hair once in college into a ear length bob and I will never, ever forget the look on my mom’s face. While I know she loves me unconditionally, that look made me feel all sorts of conditions based on my hair choice. I vowed to never do anything to see that look again. But that darn James Dean side reared its ugly head and of course I have done OTHER things to deserve that look, lol. But back to my mom. She hates short hair. She lives for long straight hair and I know she will flip when she sees this but I don’t care, a very respectful “I don’t care”. This decision was completely for me. I made a lot of changes in my life the last few weeks. I finally said goodbye to my ex. Even though we were not speaking for good parts of a year, I still had not let go. I would still try to communicate even though a response was never reciprocated. I knew we were not for each other but I still had that feeble hope of “something”. I can honestly say I have a terrible time letting go… of ANYTHING but when I did it, I felt shackles that I put on myself being immediately unlocked. I had to let go of him but more importantly let go of the sins, pain, hurt, poor choices and mistakes that I made that caused the hell that was our break up and his broken heart. Forgiving yourself and moving on is hands down the most liberating and freeing experience you can ever experience. I have read up on it. I have heard of it. But until you DO IT, you cannot comprehend its power. I gained a lot of strength just with that decision alone. But I digress…..

I cut my hair, for me. Only for me and gosh darn it………. I am the happiest little Haitian gal around. I only used snapchat to show the full day. There was no tweeting it. There was no announcing it on Facebook. It was just my decision and it felt so personal. I am now releasing the full snapchat story because its important to let everyone know that when you do things for YOURSELF, you will feel a sense of peace, clarity and happiness that is inspiring and life changing!

Follow your heart! Follow your passions! And never look back….. keep your eyes forward and always on the prize no matter what it is (well let it be a spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally HEALTHY prize!)