Most women are raised to believe that their hair is their beauty. And not just any hair, but long hair. The longer it is the more beautiful and I truly believe this is what has prompted the increase in hair extension (for my non black folk) and weave wearers.
This post is not about long hair. But my hair. I used to be a slave of having long, luscious locks. Not because I wanted to have long, luscious locks but because society and my family had me truly believing that I would not be as pretty with short hair. And let me tell you… I love short hair. I have been drawn to it since I opened a magazine and saw Beverly Peele rocking a very short natural do. 
I spent most of 2014 working on my mental and emotional journey. Because frankly what you look like on the outside means nothing if you are not at peace and right on the inside and my insides needed a whole lotta work. I suffered from major insecurities as spoken on in previous posts and those insecurities manifested outwardly in many self destructive ways. 2015 was still working on the psychological aspect of who I am but I also started taking more risks with my appearance. I started doing things for me. My mom is my world. I hate disappointing her or upsetting her but I realized that when it came to my appearance, I put far too much weight on her opinions. Not saying I don’t value them but it is still my life and I have to be my most authentic self.
Short hair is all about me. Short hair is being authentic. Short hair (of some sort) is here to stay.
I am truly lucky to have an amazing hairstylist who shares my aesthetic. I often go in with a screenshot from my fave IG: The Cut Life (why oh why wont they feature me when I tag them in everything lol) or I tell her to do whatever she feels. Alisa, my hair stylist is often scared to do so because she doesn’t want me to hate it but my new found confidence and lease on life is: It will grown back and its only hair darn it!
A year + half ago, I went drastic with it and I could not be happier. Alisa popped my color cherry and we added some chunky purple highlights to the front bangs. I was really debating between a caramel brown or a fiery red and somehow we ended with the color of royalty and the Ravens! Next I visited Gene the barber extraordinaire and we buzzed and buzzed it pretty much all off! There really is something hella freeing about watching strands fall to the ground voluntarily. Although it’s buzzed a bit more bald than I anticipated, I am truly LOVING my oh so fitting valentines day design etched into the back corner of my hair courtesy of Gene!
I truly believe that we as humans have to stop putting so much emphasis on our looks. This must be odd coming from a style blogger but it is how I feel. It is perfectly fine to adore long hair over short or vice versa. For me personally, I had to understand the psychology behind my need for long hair. I was doing it to please others and to fit into a role. Black women with long hair (mine was natural for the most part) were found to be more wanted. I wanted to be wanted. Well actually… I NEEDED to be wanted and that was the crux of the problem. I no longer live for anyone else. Not their opinions and certainly not their wants of me.
[aesop_quote type=”block” background=”#ff0000″ text=”#000000″ width=”800px” height=”500px” align=”center” size=”2″ quote=”Here’s the thing, men have to also mature in how they see women, too. Because they need to understand that it’s not just about how we look, it’s about who we are. And I am going to tell you like this, ‘If you can’t love me with short hair, and you telling me I got to have long hair to be loved, guess what, I ain’t the one for you.-Jada Pinkett Smith” parallax=”off” direction=”left”]
So I guess when I cut my hair, I also cut away alot of schemas.
And baby I am no longer going to fall into formation. I slay on my own and in my own way and no one can tell me otherwise.
The best revenge is being unapologetic WHILE BEING YOURSELF. Whether you are Rich or Poor. Thin or Pleasantly Plump. Single or Taken. Long hair or Short Hair. Etc….God is not counting your paper on Judgement day but he sure is looking at how you are living your life and what message you are leaving with the world. My message is flawed like the human that I am and my character has some holes in it but all in all, I am truly happy with who I am and who I am growing to be! That is where I slay and that is my power.
If you are in Bowie or Baltimore, I highly suggest you see Alisa for all your hair care needs. On Saturday, I watched her do one of the flattest, most natural looking weaves on someone who got her information from my blog <3. Her prices are reasonable and her manner is amazing. Check her out and let me know how it goes!
*** This story was written in 2016 but still very relevant today. I decided to go natural on August 3, 2017 and have not looked back. Alisa also was there for that journey.****
Fantastic read✅
love this, and all of your hairstyles, my mom and sisters will love these!! . I come from a family of woman who cut their hair cus they want to that day lol Sometimes its nice to have long hair so I get braids lol I wear a wig. Tada! I think even men are taught that long hair makes a woman look pretty. Though its not logical, its some peoples life. I am like you get me with 25 different hairstyles and natural hair or you find another preference. I think I was so busy defending that I did and do grow hair and had length for so long that I hit common sense recently and was like, you obviously see I have a head full of hair, you are the ones with issues not me. Im happy with my body im now happy with my hair. All this time I was letting people take that away from me.
Love this Jen. And Alisa has been great for my hair too lol. So happy to see you be short, long, curly, straight… mainly just happy!
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Alisa is the best! I need to get back to her for a color touch up for sure!